Three weeks prior today I woke up and did my daily routine: got washed, got my workout done, had breakfast, and started my devotional time. Did I say "daily" routine? Well, its been a hot summer which means I either skip my workout or I skip out on breakfast. Then again sometimes its my devotional time (aka Jesus time). I am not gonna lie.
But that morning, I went through that routine. Which it means I was having a pretty fantastic day. Days earlier I was having some rough days. So no wonder that day I felt an ache and although I really wasn't feeling it, I sat down with my cup of coffee and read my devotional of the day. I wasn't expecting much, but I was blown away. God dropped some hard truth in my life and I am glad He did...
I want to say that I have no regrets. In these 26 years and a half I have done everything I ever dreamed of. That I at least tried, might have failed, but I at least tried. I wish I could say that my 10 year plan is closely coming true and that Plan A worked out perfectly. But the truth is, I have many regrets. I wish I had not given up so easily some dreams I had, like trying out for the basketball team when my coaches said I should but I thought I was too short so I didn't even give it a try. Or the time I was offered to continue working through college and the company would pay my schooling. (Just to name a few).
The 10 year plan that I wrote the first day of my freshman year in college seems like a dream or a Christmas wish list that has never come true. Oh and that Plan A is wishing I had a Plan B.
What went wrong? You may be asking. Well, I believe, plain and simple that it was my plan, my dreams, my decisions that led to mistakes or regrets. My dad has always taught me to ask God for direction for every decision I may take. Whether it is small or big, he says "preguntale a Dios" (Ask God).
Plan A didn't work because it was my plan.
That morning God showed me that hard truth. It hit me hard in the gut. My pride was wounded. I couldn't say the words: I was wrong.
So what do you do when everything you believed to be true and all your plans and dreams are taken from you?
Well, you swallow your pride, admit your error, ask God forgiveness and for help. In that moment a word popped into my head. ALT. I remembered that I had seen it in my computer. It's one of the keys on the laptop and there's another word: OPTION
I immediately knew God was saying "You need an ALT (alternative) option, a Plan B. As much as I want it to be my Plan A and say okay God I'm gonna make your plan my Plan A. It's too late for that. Plan A was Plan A and it was not the right one. So now I need a different one. So here it is:
I'm making my self Available
I'm Letting go
Available: Making your self available to God means waking up every morning and saying: "here I am God, what do you want me to do?" It's seeing the need around you. Maybe it can start with your family and friends, they may be in need of some help. The neighbor or the person you come across in your day.
Letting go: This can be hard, but you have to let go of your dreams and your plan. So maybe you are gonna have to start with letting go of your pride, like I had to. It was hard. To admit that you are wrong can be the hardest thing you might do, but that's the first step to letting God take control.
Trusting: Not knowing where you're heading or what that plan may look, but choosing to trust is the last thing on that Plan B.
Everyday I wake up and I have to remind myself of ALT. I still don't have all the answers but I do have one thing I was lacking for a while: peace. I know that whatever may come next and however long it takes I'll be prepared. This time of uncertainty and waiting is shaping me. Its shaping you as well. You are gaining qualities that you will need later.