They tell you that it will be hard and it will take time, but who knew it would be this hard and would take this long?
For those who have not been keeping up with my posts and journey let me fill you in: I am currently a filmmaker looking for opportunities to learn and grow before making the big jump and starting my own production company.
So, for the past few months I've been doing just that. I've been taking jobs as PA, wardrobe assistant in short films. Recently, I was given the opportunity to intern for a feature film. At the moment, I've been working for the art department. The film is based in the year 1958. Pretty cool stuff. So we've been working in making the locations look like the year 1958.
Last week, we worked in getting the gym ready, from painting, to cleaning, to taking anything that is not 1958. It really takes an entire army to make a film and now I know and value the work that the art department does, to say the least, they are one of the main reasons why a film/TV show looks pretty.
Being an intern also meant running errands and making calendars. When you go to every store in a small town and you can't find big calendars, you make it work with whatever you find. Good thing I love driving. It gave me the opportunity to explore Whitney, Texas and meet people.
I can't complain. The first day was absolutely amazing. I learned so many things, and the team (aka the art department guys) were a ball to be around and very helpful. They shared a few lessons and advice in working in this career, and our "office" space was unbelievable beautiful. I live in small town, or so I thought, but this church in this town was just what I've imagined and seen in cute movies.
It hasn't been easy and this is just the beginning. I've been running back and forth from the film locations to my hometown to go to work. It's been hard and filming hasn't really started. We are still in Pre-Production. I have to juggle my job, to pay bills, while I get some unpaid experience to finally work on sets and get paid.
It has taken sacrifice, sweat, tears, blood, (really...when you are in a hurry to get to one place to another, accidents happen), and time. Not only from myself but from my entire family. At times it has been too hard I just want to quit. Find something else to do. But I feel like I am no good at anything else and I have no other passion. And then I think about how quitting is easy because anyone can do that.
So, I take a step back and I try to see what God sees. At times it's impossible, actually, I never get to see eye to eye with Him, why? Well, because He has a higher Vantage Point than I do.
I've tried to see what He sees but I keep falling on my face. I realized that I will continue to fall on my face because I'll never be able to understand His plan, or His technique, or see the big picture. Instead of trying to be like Him, I should learn to trust Him, because knowing that He has the better view and can see way, way into the future and He has it under control, should give me a sense of peace.
...it's just my two sense.
Xx - SA