#justmyluck

The end of the year is fast approaching and I am reminiscing all of the 2016 events I have encountered, and they are far from enjoyable. 

One of my student's said it quite well one morning while helping me decorate my classroom, "Miss. Alvarez, I feel sorry for you", she said. "Oh yeah, and why is that", I replied. "You have such bad luck", she finished. 

You see, my family and sometimes my students, have to help me move chairs, desks and decorate my classroom every time I am in need of help. I haven't been allowed to lift up anything that weighs 20 lbs and there has been more restrictions sometimes.  

Lets go all the way back to 2015, where my bad luck started. 

Everything was going perfect at the beginning of the year. I was starting to read my Bible and pray everyday. I had made my decision that I would seek the Lord more than ever and leave all of the laziness in the morning and put Him first. 

A few weeks passed and one day as I was headed to work earlier than usual, I was in a car accident. A car hit a bigger vehicle who then hit my SUV from behind. It was my first car wreck and I was crying because a few months ago I had just purchased that SUV. I came out and checked and thank God it was just a small dent on my SUV, but the person at fault was really injured. I went back to work since only my neck was hurting, but I thought I would be fine. I also really wanted to get to work since I had students coming to tutorials since it was the last day of the six weeks. 

As soon as I arrived to my class, I was sent home because the pain in my neck was getting worse and I looked really pale. I never thought it would get worse, but it did. As the hours passed and I waited for my chiropractor appointment, the pain gradually got worse, and more parts of my body started to hurt. When I reached the doctor, I could not sit or stand for more than a minute. To not make this post long, let me tell you that I lasted almost 4 months in bed. 

I had to stop working and depend completely on my sisters and mom (which I will never be able to thank them enough for everything they did). 

I would only get up to get my therapies and adjustments. I ended in the hospital 4 times, since the neck pain was horrible. I got convulsions and fainted a lot. The pain in my neck was like if someone was hitting me with a hammer multiple times. It was so embarrassing to see the ambulance every time. The doctors didn't even want to see me any more since they couldn't understand what was happening. It wasn't until I saw a neurologist and went to the second appointment that he said I had occipital neuralgia.

Bills after bills arrived and there was no money to pay them. I also paniced as the new school year approached, not knowing if I could return back to work. When I reached the fourth month, I ended up not being able to be able to sit or stay in bed. I could only lay down at night for a few hours and then I can't explain, but I could no longer lay down or sit for the rest of the day. Surprisingly, this really helped so I could return to work. 

Two days in, during staff development, I was sent to the hospital again, but this time with a stomach ache. It was my gallbladder and I never knew I was sick of that. I had to get surgery a.s.a.p since they said there was something really bad inside. The doctor said I could wait a few days for surgery so I could schedule an appointment with a surgeon so it could be less expensive. I agreed. 

I hadn't questioned God during the process after I had my accident, but I did now. I was still hurting, not 100% better, but so happy I was starting a new school year and had so many ideas I wanted to do. And now I was having to deal with this. I was scared it might be cancer in my gall bladder, since the doctor seemed really concerned. 

I prayed about it and so did my family and church. When I went to my appointment, the surgeon had marvelous news. There was no cancer, but I still had to remove it. I praised God, knowing that  He had made a miracle and knew what He was doing. I had my surgery a week later (I wanted to at least meet my new students) and missed 10 days of work. 

Year 2016 started and the Lord blessed me by paying all of my medical bills. It took half of that year to finally recuperate from the auto accident, but I was finally feeling better and a new school year started. 

Two months into the new school year, I suffered a work injury in the hallway and I hurt my back. It took an entire month to recover. But three days after I was finally feeling better, I suffered a physical assault at work. This time my neck and back got injured. 

I am now trying to recover from that injury and it hasn't been easy. There have been days that I have gone without sleeping. The first week was really bad as I HAD to go back to work no matter how bad I felt. I was having to work and there where multiple times that I had to cry in front of everyone, because I could not stand the pain and could hardly move. 

I am half way to recovering and I pray to God that I can be fully recovered soon! 

So there you go, 2015-2016 have not been my best years. I have had bad luck, you might say. I refuse to see it that way. I want to see it as God refining me. God loves to refines us through our suffering like gold. 

Romans 8:28 says:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
— https://www.biblegateway.com

I do not understand the reason behind His why, but I know I can trust Him knowing that He knows what He is doing. 

You might be going through a tough situation, probably worse than me, and constantly asking God why? Why is it that the more we seek you, something bad happens to me or my love ones? 

When I was younger, I was always afraid to seek Him. Because I knew that as soon as I would, a trial would start to come over me. (I am still afraid sometimes.)

But I have learned one thing. The are no trials when you are still, because the devil is not worried over you since he already has you where he wants you, doing nothing (as harsh as it might sound). As soon as you start doing what God has commanded you to do, then the devil gets busy and brings you temptations and trials in order to break you down. 

I rather be on God's side and full of trials and "bad luck", than be full of "good luck" and be on the devil's side. 

Photo credit: here